Obsessive. Compulsive. And Orthodox.
Obsessive. Compulsive. And Orthodox.
First thing is that everyone has something that they believe makes them a "Bad Jew." But were not perfect and we'll never be. In this article she talks about how her thoughts scare her when she would think about other religious beings who were not Jewish. But she couldn't control her thoughts which I think is a very normal thing. Of course she has OCD so for her it was more extreme but we all have times when we drift off. When we drift off it's sometimes hard to control what we think about. That's why we shouldn't judge ourselves on what we think. I know that sounds contradictory because you should be able to think what you want but that's not true. In a way your brain has a mind of it's own. This may be wrong and I may be have some type of OCD then but I've noticed that for me it's hard to control my thoughts.
As a Jew it is our Job to embrace ourselves for who we are. We can't change it but we can become comfortable with ourselves. For this girl she had to learn to live with OCD, for me I've had to grow up with auditory processing which has led to me having trouble learning and speaking a lot of the prayers. I thought that I had a problem with Judaism and that maybe I was wasn't "worth" it. But I realized that this doesn't matter. The fact is that I don't need to know all the prayers and I don't have to say them right because as long as I care about Judaism that's all that matters.
I completely agree with you. I believe that no one should be judged based on the context of their prayers. Judaism and praying is a personal practice that no one should have the ability to judge you for. No matter how religious you are or not, that's up to you and others can't tell you how to pray "correctly". Whatever anyone practices Judaism, it is unique to them and can't be repeated across the board. One of the best things about Reform Judaism is that we have the ability to choose for ourselves, as opposed to a more Orthodox form of Judaism where it is harder to break out of once you've been born into it. Nonetheless, nothing you pray about can make you not Jewish.
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