Israel and how I've changed

My Jewish identity has always been a huge part of my life but now that I have been on EIE I can truly say that it has evolved into something else, something more personal. In my Jewish History class I was able to enrich my knowledge about my past. Learning about the past and present of my people have truly given me and new understanding of what it means to be Jewish. Not only that but learning Hebrew has given  me a new level of understanding because being able to speak with Israelis makes it that much more meaningful. Now at first this wasn’t easy for me but being in Israel for four months made the Hebrew learning process that much easier. Also being able to live here for four months made it feel like I completed my journey to at least spend some time in Israel. After being here I now believe a Jewish person should experience this place atleast once in their life. Without coming here and learning about the past you can’t really understand the importance of why Israel needs to exist. After everything we’ve been through, all the struggles, we deserve to have this place to call our home. 

When I look at myself now I see a proud American Jew. From this trip I have gain confidence not only in my Jewish identity but myself too. With all of the experiences I have a had through this trip I have learned to be more comfortable with myself. For example during Gadna I realized that it didn't matter what I looked like. Even though my clothes looked ridiculous I started to just focus on other things and forget about what I felt like. I think this idea of focusing on other things have translated into other aspects of my life. I realized that problems I have don't matter because I can't change them and that I should just be happy with myself. Thank you EIE for giving me the strength to be a little bit more comfortable with myself.

What in means to be a part of Am Israel

For me it's a Khela Kadosha. The community that all of the Jews share together. At the end of the day no matter what anyone says we are all part of Am Israel and it is our job to never forget that. We must understand what it means to be a part of this amazing nation. After being in Israel for 3 and half months I think I understand what it means to be a part of Am Israel. It doesn't matter if you live in  Israel or all the way across the world in the US. We were born into this community and whether we like it or not we can't leave. But I don't know why anyone would want to leave this. This Am gives us a home, a family that we can always go too. We all share the heavy burden of carrying on our past and from being in Israel I now understand my past a little bit more. We must educate ourselves on what we've been through because as many people say the past will foresee the future. There's so many aspects of this nation that I love and I'm so proud to be Jewish.

FIFA and the Israeli- Palestinian Conflict

The whole of this article is that the Palestinian Authority is trying to stop the Israeli national team from playing because the Palestinian team is restricted when moving. This conflict is greater than just the land they both want. It seeps into every part of society now a days. For example, sports, which should usually be an outlet for kids is now becoming a topic of controversy. This is topic of Israel-Palestine takes on so many levels and affects every part of people lives. In Israel this decision is going to determine the fate of what happens to the Jewish State. Will it survive or will Jews be forced out? A huge tactic that the Palestinians use is PR and the utilize it a lot. This for example could be just another PR stunt to make Israel look worse.

On the other hand the Palestinians could point out the fact that Israel restricts a lot of the freedom they have and this one thing should be allowed for the Palestinians. They would point out the fact that this could give some of their kids outlets to get away from the poverty in the West Bank. The could also say that they deserve the basic right to have their team play in the nationals league like any other country. Either way this just another example of the Palestinians and Israelis getting into a confrontation. It's sad but it seems like what ever we do somehow the Palestinians always have a problem with it.

A kid in my class

Back home I have a Palestinian kid in my class and we have had multiple conversations about Israel. Sadly I've never been able to give him a real reason on why Israel acts the way it does. He talked to me about how just because his last name was Muslim he got pulled aside at the Israeli airport. I wasn't able to give him a good reason on why that happened. But now I know why, if you have the last name of a religion that has people attacking their own of course their going to stop them. Even if its unfair Israel can't take chances. He also told me that he doesn't believe that Israel is going to last and I said I agree with him. I'm so disappointed in myself that I said that. I now know and have experienced that Israel is here to stay. I don't care what anyone has to say, Israel has a right to be here and will be here. No ones going to take this place away from us. We have worked to hard for this place and if we have to will fight for it. always.

Should the Ultra- Orthodox join the army?

After having the conversation of should the orthodox join the army I thought a lot about the two sides. I've decided to write down both sides not for those who are reading this but to try and understand it better. From a secular and not religious view, Haredi Jews should join the army. They get payed from the government to just sit and pray all day while people are putting their lives on the line. Some people even say that they just fool around all day and don't even pray( Baruch.) Not only that but they force there opinions onto others. Aaron, my Jewish History teacher isn't even Jewish because his grandmother on his mother's side wasn't. (correct me if I'm wrong on that.) Even though he was brought up Jewish and identifies as such. Another aspect they enforce on people is the split between man and women at the Kotel. Yet they still don't think they have to join the army. It doesn't even have to be on the front lines but anything having to do with army would really benefit this country. But instead they decide to stay in there Bet Knesset and take the governments money.

Now the Orthodox side would say that they don't need to join the army because they are taking a different route to keeping this country safe- the spiritual side. They believe that they are protecting the country by devoting everyday of their lives to Judaism. And when people tell them that people are dieing while they sit in their synagogues they say that they devote every second of everyday to Judaism. And when people say that they enforce their beliefs on other people they counter the argument with the fact that they are already very lenient at the Kotel. One of my class mates, Lea, pointed out that the Kotel is very different compared to a synagogue. Overall they would say that there has always been a small population of Jews who spend there life devoted to prayer and they would argue that they are just trying to keep that tradition alive.

Options to come back

After visiting the IDC and after Netzel visiting us today I’ve come to the realization that coming back to Israel could be a reality for me. These two programs don’t seem to fit me the best but I bet there is a program out there that I could really see myself doing. Maybe something like what my friends brother is doing, going to college for a semester in Israel or maybe I could take a gap year with my buddies and see what happens. Either way I think the chances of me coming back to Israel are pretty great and that makes me excited.  I don’t want to make Aliyah but I do have a connection to this place and I will strengthen that connection as I visit Israel more and more through my life.

Etjar Keret story

And Etar Keret story that I want to write about is about a kid being the father of the head of the Mossad. The whole story is how he doesn't seem like his the father of the Mossad, the opposite in fact. But at the end of the story he kills one of his bullies showing that he in fact had the some traits that his father had. This story shows how even when people don't look similar they can still be the similar on the inside. It also shows how people don't understand how bullying can affect kids. Abusing mentally and physically can not only lead to mental scaring but it can also cause kids to lash out in violent ways. All around bullying doesn't benefit anyone. It needs to be stopped and I think this story was trying to display that.

As before I said people can seem the opposite on the outside but then can be very similar on the inside. I think this applies to my dad and I. Except for our body type we don't look alike at all. But one thing that I have been told I have of his is his heart. This shows that when becoming parents you don't only pass on your genes but your way of living in a sense. From a very young age I saw how my dad was caring to other people and I wanted to be like that. That's why I try to be so understanding to other people becuase it's just like my dad. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if I didn't have my dad.

Holocaust Memorial Day

I have experienced this day in Israel twice now. Once in 8th grade and now this year. One thing that still mesmerizes me is that everyone in Israel is quite at the same time. That almost never happens in a room let alone a country. This powerful day weighs a lot on people through out the world and especially Israel. It was also very meaningful because our Poland trip had been fresh in our mind and it really gave this day a whole other level to it. Although we had the siren I wish we could have had more of a ceremony like we had had in the concentration camps in Poland. Just to pay a little more respect to all of the people who died. We did have a video playing in the office but it was hard to find time to go and see it. But still this day had a powerful affect on me and I think it will mean a lot to me as a I grow because of this trip. I will never forget

The Truth Underneath

When you go to Tel-Aviv the things that pop into your head are probably modern, party, hippy, accepting. But now when I think of Tel-Aviv I think, normal, diverse, even a little bit dirty. These were the words that were going through my head as I left South Tel Aviv. This place was the opposite of what people would think about Tel-Aviv. The streets were, were disgusting. There was trash everywhere and poverty. The people that live in this poor neighborhood are Israelis, Foreign workers, Asylum seekers and refugees. These people are subjected to serious discrimination and it sadly reminds me a lot of America. I thought that Tel- Aviv was this kinda of perfect city that was leading the way but as I've seen from yesterday it has it's problems too.

Passover and Yam Le Yam

This past week was a truly enriching and enlightening experience. First off I got to meet my family from Israel. At first it was awkward because of the language barrier but that's to be expected. But as I became more comfortable with them I realized just how inviting they were. Not only that but once they became very welcoming they didn't really care to have a sensor. They were one of the loudest families I have ever seen. I loved it. The environment was so energizing and I couldn't help but be loud myself. One thing I noticed was that the Seder was very short and I can tell there was a sense of urgency to finish the seder. One of my second cousins comping mechanism to get through the short 45 minute seder was to drink as much wine as possible. This shows me that I don't think they value the seder as much as being with there family and just hanging out. After the two days we had with them I feel like I have a real family that I can go too and I plan to visit them. 

The next part of our break was Yam Le Yam. Besides the sleeping arrangements this was a really enjoyable experience. I really do feel that I have deeper connection with everyone on this trip. We were all able to get through a week of something most of us weren't used too. For example I doubt people are used to having so much dirt on them that they have a dirt tan. One moment that I realized just how close I gotten with everyone was when we were biking down to the Mediterranean. My chain had popped off so I had to go to the back. As I started to catch up to the front I started passing people and I realized that I could have a real conversation with any of them and be really comfortable while doing. This instance was an eye opener and it made this whole experience way better. I think we are starting to become a family. Right now I only have two but I could see a third one being built here on EIE. 

The Zionist Election You Can Participate

I have always wanted to make a difference for Jews around the world. This "election" will in a way fulfill that wish if I decided to vote. Since the elections just happened today I've been thinking a lot about what I would do if I could vote, how I would try to make a difference. This is mostly because we had a conversation about it but nonetheless I was thinking a lot about it. This article touches on problems in Israel today such as the settlements. In the Jewish community we all have an opinion on problems in Israel and through this voting process we could in a way effect the outcome of Israel. Obviously not in a big way but the smallest bit counts. We all care a lot about Israel and are invested in it's survival so when there's an opportunity to help Israel I would think Jews would pounce on it.  We wouldn't be able to face problems like settlements directly but would be able to create centers that promote Israel which in a way can help Israel.

If I could try to change an aspect of Israel I would try to improve the cost of living in Israel. Just the overall economic living in this country. It's a big problem and affects people on a daily bases. Of course the potential from Hamas and Iran and other groups against Israel is scary but they don't affect us everyday. This problems in Israel society where people can't pay there rent, or the cost of food is to much affects people every single day. So that's why if I had to help Israel I would try to face these problems. So much media talks about the violence of Israel so people forget that Israel is also a country with economic struggles too. These problems need to be brought to day light and I hope in this upcoming election it will start to do that.

Tel Aviv

Over the weekend my parents gave me the opportunity to visit Tel Aviv. In EIE we've been there a couple of times but this was the first time I got to truly experience what it was like. As I walked through the beach on Friday there wasn't a vibe of Shabbat like there is in Jerusalem and at our Kibbutz. It showed me that Tel Aviv is a different from the other cities. It reminded me of New York and the atmosphere back home. It really made me nostalgic about back home and my friends. Tel Aviv is a type city I can really see myself living in some day. Not physically Tel Aviv but a city like it back home. I've been thinking about college a lot since I'm a Junior and I realized that I could definitely see myself going to college in a urban area. So not only did I learn about Tel Aviv and the different vibe it has there but also about myself and what I want.

Matisyahu and His Drug Problems

First off this was one of the most intresting articles I have read so far. Learning about Matisyahu struggle with drugs was a very unique experience in that I got to know more about his life. Before I had thought that Matisyahu had grown up in a Ultra Orthodox community and that he just happened to start writing music. I didn't realize how much it meant to him. We all have something that keeps us from doing things that were not supposed too. For Matsiyahu it was religion and music, for other people it might be family, sports, art, etc. We all have aspects of our lives that help us make the right decisions. It's just are job to find what those things are. For people who are lucky that thing is given to them. For others it takes them time to find what's meaningful to him/her.

Something that I was lucky to have been given to me was the connection to camp. It's something I talk about a lot but it shows how much this place truly means to me. Camp Newman puts me in the right path and helps me make better decisions. Through camp I have grown as a person and as a Jew. It's helped me find my path in Judaism. Of course it's not all there, part of the reason I came to EIE, but it's given me a lot I can be thankful for. We all have parts of our lives that we should thankful about for Matisyahu it's music and Judaism, for me it's Camp.

Jesus Geneaology

The religion of Christianity has always intrigued me. I have always wondered what pull factor it had to convert millions of people to it's beliefs. When we started looking at Jesus's Genealogy I was surprised to see that it had such a big whole. The fact that Joseph, Jesus's father is a dissident of David leaves a huge whole in the Christian story because Jesus is supposed to be the son of God. There for Jesus is not a dissident of David because he does not share blood with Joseph. When Aaron pointed this out in class I started to get anger, almost as if it was a personal insult to me. I don't know why but I think it's because people judge the stories of Judaism so much and they identify as Christian. So when I see this evidence of a whole in there belief it makes me angry that they would criticize my religion when they have gaps in theirs too. We are able to prove these stories are real through multiple sources. The same can be said for Christians. Both religions have gaps in their stories so instead of judging each other we should just come to peace with the fact that some things can't be explained.

Will There Be One Jewish People

This article talks about how there are two different types of Jewish people, a maximilist and a minimalist. The maximilist is centered around meeting all sorts of Jewish people and meeting all the Jews that are in the world. A minimalist is someone who is "narrow in there studies" according to Ben Greenberg. For me it's interesting to think about how there are different types of Judaism besides Orthodox, Conservative and Reform. This type of Judaism is split by how social you are compared to how religious you are. I think that the people who try to meet other Jews are going to be the ones who will be able to keep Judaism united. Of course studying is important but when your whole life is just studying there's only so much you can do to get to know other Jews except for the ones who are like you. The ones who meet other sects of Judaism are going to be able to understand how others think and will be able to make decisions that would benefit all parts of Judaism.

The scary aspect to me is the fact that these two types of Judaism could lead to a split of Jews. We've seen through the past that when were not united we get tossed around. As a united religion there's not a lot that can take us down but if we have a split it creates a weak point for Judaism. We can already see that split happening today in the world. Orthodox Jews and Secular Jews don't always tend to get along. They both have two valid arguments for why they believe what they believe but at the end of the day they need to realize that were all one Am and being united is crucial to our survival.

Gadna

While on the 10 day break, my class and I spent 4 days in Gadna, which is an army base located in the South. This whole experience was supposed to give us an idea about what the army is like. Something that I found interesting though was the fact that everyone said that the real army was way better than this. For me the beginning was miserable, my clothes didn't fit, it was cold and my sleeping bag was really uncomfortable. But as the week went on I started to become more comfortable with everything.  I started to realize that it didn't matter if I looked ridiculous because we all did. There was this one moment on our last day when we were all eating tuna for that last time. I just remember being comfortable in my own body, which I hadn't been all week. This was a turning point for me in that it showed me that I didn't have to care if I had a hole in my pants, or if the pants were very tight in the back and very loose in the front. So if Gadna changed me in any way I think it would have to be that I shouldn't care so much and I should be more comfortable with my body. 

Staying Jewish against the odds

As a Jewish teen I'm always faced with the decision of choosing Judaism or the other things in my life. If I had been a Jew back in the Helenist days I would have most likely assimlated with the Greeks. It's not becuase I don't believe in Judaism but it's becuase sports are a big part of my life. I'm always having to make the tough decision of choosing baseball and Judaism. A lot of the time I choose baseball. A part of me always feels guilty and will always feel guilty but I believe that missing shabbat to do something I love is okay. Of course if it's a major holiday then the sitation is different.

I've always thought about it if I want my wife to be Jewish. It's defintley something I would prefer but at the end of the day I'm going to go with my heart, no matter what she believes in. But something I do strongly believe is giving my children a strong Jewish Identity. Being Jewish has given the best foundation possible and that's exactly what I want for my kids. If not fully Jewish I want them to know where they come from becuase this relgion is fascinating.

NFTY Convention

Every year EIE calls into NFTY Convention to talk about Israel. A lucky a few are picked to wake up at four in the mourning to talk to 1,000 Jewish teens from across the nation. Luckily I got to be one of those people. As much as I complained about having to wake up at four I am very grateful that I was able to speak. I hope I was able to represent EIE in a positive way and that I got people excited for what this whole experience is about. Talking to a thousand teens was overwhelming, not to mention again that it was very early in the morning. So if any of you reading this dowatch the call just remember that I am a half asleep. I think the best part of this whole call was the fact that it reminded me of why I am here in the first place. I'm here to experience Israel and everything it has to offer. So the next time I think about all the homework I have I just have to think about where I am and how it's worth it.

Free Heart by Muki

This song is about a guy who has just recently broken up with his girlfriend. From the words he used it seems that this girl was keeping him "tied down." He uses phrases and words such as, free heart, no more cables, like the wind, after being burned, light emerges from the darkness, no promises, free of nostalgia, and without programs. This relationship did not sound like a very healthy and respectful one. I've never really been in a relationship that has tied me down like this before so I can't empathize with how this person feels. But in friendships I've had this before. Any relationship should be one that you want to be in and with this one it doesn't seem like that was the case.

When you look at the Hebrew the word לב comes up a lot which from what I've learned in Hebrew I can tell is heart. לב חופשי is another word that comes up a lot which means free heart. This repetition is to emphasize the fact that he is free now. This one phrase ואור גדול עולה מתוך החושך when spoken sounds so beautiful. When I was reading the Hebrew this phrase really popped out at me. In English it meas And a great light emerges from darkness. That line it's self is so meaningful and when you say it's just pretty. This song is purposely showing people not to stay in a relationship that holds you back. Because if you do your not going to be happy.
Sorry I forgot to post the lyrics and link here they are now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQUwvwgNpNs&index=11&list=PLFdaDs6jm04gmKjghLvy09QV7cqWTZU53

Muki- Free Heart

Free heart, 

Today my heart is free, 

No cables 

And no more worries. 

Clean lie 

Free of nostalgia, 

Naked. 

Free heart 

Like the wind. 

And after it was burned, 

And after it was over already 

Released and fled 

One more time. 

And a great light emerges from the darkness, 

Is revealed. 

Night escape from this morning 

Rising. 

Free heart, 

Today my heart is free, 

Without programs 

And no promises. 

And life goes on, 

Family, friends, women, 

So I'm not alone 

I just without you. 

And this heart burns, 

This heart already runs 

Released and fled 

One more time. 

And a great light emerges from the darkness, 

Is revealed. 

Night escape from this morning 

Rising. 

Now far from me, 

But it does not hurt. 

Because as you've so did you go - 

The, you broke my heart.

Services

Services are one of my favorite parts of being Jewish. Even though I don't believe in God praying is a way for me to express my "love" for Judaism. I found my love for services at Camp when my song leader started make different versions of some of our prayers that we could all connect to. Incorporating modern songs with some of prayers really pulled me into a love for services. Being able to have a good time while praying is really what it's all about. Services aren't meant to be a burden and these songs for me created this into something that is enjoyable. In EIE we do the exact same thing which shows me that this movement of incorporating other songs into prayer is across the country. When we were at the synagogues last night I heard to new versions of prayer, Hallelujah to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and another prayer that I can't remember was to Hit the Road Jack. The world is changing and so is Judaism. We'll always have these meaningful prayers but who says they can't be to some modern music.

Obsessive. Compulsive. And Orthodox. 

First thing is that everyone has something that they believe makes them a "Bad Jew." But were not perfect and we'll never be. In this article she talks about how her thoughts scare her when she would think about other religious beings who were not Jewish. But she couldn't control her thoughts which I think is a very normal thing. Of course she has OCD so for her it was more extreme but we all have times when we drift off. When we drift off it's sometimes hard to control what we think about. That's why we shouldn't judge ourselves on what we think. I know that sounds contradictory because you should be able to think what you want but that's not true. In a way your brain has a mind of it's own. This may be wrong and I may be have some type of OCD then but I've noticed that for me it's hard to control my thoughts. 

As a Jew it is our Job to embrace ourselves for who we are. We can't change it but we can become comfortable with ourselves. For this girl she had to learn to live with OCD, for me I've had to grow up with auditory processing which has led to me having trouble learning and speaking a lot of the prayers. I thought that I had a problem with Judaism and that maybe I was wasn't "worth" it. But I realized that this doesn't matter. The fact is that I don't need to know all the prayers and I don't have to say them right because as long as I care about Judaism that's all that matters.  

 

The Western Wall

I have never had such a holy experience in my life. After visiting the Kotel I've felt so differently about everything. I don't what it is but when I visited the Kotel I just felt so overwhelmed, with joy? spirituality? sadness? everything? The moment I finally touched the wall I felt a rush go through my body. It was something I don't even know how to explain. But I know now why this place is special. As I put my head on Kotel I became in a trance. I closed my eyes and I felt content. It was truly the first time on this trip that I had felt truly relaxed and in a place where I felt comfortable. After we had left I was at a  loss of words. I can't really explain what I felt at the Kotel but I do know that my Judaism is that much stronger because of it.

Connections and Camp

        My Jewish identity is not determined by what I believe. Truthfully I don't know if I believe in God or not, or if the Tanakh is truly divine. But what I do believe in is the Kahilah Kedosha, the holy community that I have found here. For me the connections that I have made throughout my life with Jewish kids has given me a net that I can always fall back on. The amazing people I have met in my life have really given me the strength to find who I am. Now this doesn't mean that I don't take services or religious aspects of Judaism seriously because I do.  When I pray I don't exactly know what I'm praying too but I say thank you. I say thank you for all the blessings in my life because I am truly a lucky person. 

      As I said the Jewish kids that I have met through my life have really helped me. But the most influential ones are from my camp, Camp Newman. Camp Newman is the place that gave me a home. I remember the first time I realized just how amazing camp is. It was last year when I was in a session called Hevrah. It was the first night and we did our annual closing circle. As we sang the shema I looked around at all these people that I truly loved. We all had this connection thanks to Judaism and right there it clicked.  I realized that camp had given me these amazing people and right there my love for camp was created.